Recently, I spoke with teens and children who are caught in the middle of the "crossfire" of their parent's divorce. Even though this divorce was more peaceable than many---the kids are still having a very hard time trying to "find themselves"---in the middle of all the changes their family has experienced the last year.
Some of the common issues are:
(1) Dad is gone; who is in charge now?? Mom tries to be both the disciplinarian and the nurturer--which makes everyone very confused and angry. Mom needs support and the kids need to respect Mom's new position of authority.
(2) We did not ask for this!! This is not FAIR---we never thought our family would end up this way!!!---The injustice, unexpected results and limitation of choices in the matter for children of divorce--causes a lot of angry outbursts.
(3) When a parent has acted selfishly--the kids react with their own selfish behaviors. It now is everyone fighting for "what they think is right in their own eyes."---instead of pulling together for the common good of the whole family. Selfish behavior breeds angry words, acting out behaviors, and feelings of mistrust and abandonment.
How to help pull the family back into a "functional --working together team" is a major focus of family counseling.
If we can help you and your family---contact our qualified family therapists at:
Stillwater Counseling Services
330-524-5125
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